To the men in our lives

To the men in our lives

To the men in our lives,

I am guilty of making you feel the one at fault for things which you might have never done and the thoughts that you might have never entertained in the process of loathing the concept of patriarchy.

There is no astonishment that while growing up, most of us girls felt that you were more privileged since you would be allowed to come back home an hour later than me or how I would always be asked to learn how to make a perfect roti and not you.

Those were the little things that would spark some sort of rage at times for not being born as a boy because I would always think how everything was easier for you, something as little as wearing your favorite tee.

As years passed by, I started learning about words and phrases such as Gender discrimination, Feminism and Patriarchy and look at me, how effortlessly I pictured you while reading about them all. Nor once would I flinch in comparing you to the men in the stories of these concepts.

I am guilty that way, of not being appreciative enough of your presence in my life.
In the journey of mostly portraying myself as the victim of every fall out plan, I unconsciously blamed you, not clearly looking at you as the villain but somewhere along the lines of that.

I wonder

  • why hardly anybody talks about how boys are also body shamed and sexually assaulted.
  • Why they are always expected to be strong and independent, both physically and financially I must add.
  • Why a boy’s breakup is always more laughed about.Why hardly anybody ever talks about the trauma that boys go through.
  • Why boys are not supposed to cry in front of people or how they are always expected to fucking ‘man up’ even though with a heavy heart looking for emotional support.
  • Why people are always hesitant in appreciating a guy’s eyes or nose.
  • Why boys are always told that they are smart but should not be called beautiful.
  • Why nobody wants to talk about the many foreign issues and battles a guy go through.

We all are guilty of always expecting more from a man and not being appreciative enough of even their smallest achievements.
Be kind towards men, too.

by Suchi

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