It should never start

The way it started I felt my nerves going down,

                                            I was so much into you that I never realized

I have my own existence too.

I keep drowning in the ocean of your love

I never gave it a thought that I could be unloved

The time I realized, it was too late.

The water was not in my hands anymore, as it was to be

My trust was shaking my heart was breaking

I was feeling down the way it was going

I kept yelling at my heart to stop

I was left with a crowd inside me like a late night modal shop

People were coming and going from my heart,

Like an ant on the empty floor but

You were always there blocking others way by sitting on the entrance door

Neither coming in and nor going out

Making me feel it’s not worthy to shout.

I kept asking you to come in but you always shown me the way that you are going out

I don’t understand, “why your decisions were not that loud?”

You taught me how to live when I was surviving

You became my food when I was starving

Then what in this universe asked you to stop

Where did you find the reason to leave and wallop?

                  When I decided to finally move on                   

 You came back to my life for keep going on

I asked multiple times, you to stay

You were so close to me, but heartily far away.

I was left with the broken pieces of my heart

And that’s when I decided,

it should never start.

by Anvesha Sisodiya